Who’s the Scariest?

halloween

Hey all! So with Halloween just around the corner, I’ve been cozying up in my hoodie and fuzzy socks and watching all the Halloween movies on tv. My personal favorite is actually Disney Channels Halloweentown,Halloweentown-halloweentown-2259572-640-480 OMG this past weekend, the whole series was on (there are 4 of them), and I was over the moon with Joy. Although the first one is the best, the others are good too. But it’s just so tacky and weird and I love it! It reminds me of my childhood, so yea I really had no shame sitting there watching all 4! Like seriously can I like live in Halloweentown for a day????

I feel like it’s been years since I’ve been able to do this, what with this time being the season of midterms. And now that college is no longer kicking my ass, this has proven to be just one of the perks of being a college grad at the moment, lol. Ah it’s the little things! 😉

So let’s get down to business, tis the season for the deadly trio… Michael Myers (Halloween), Jason (Friday  the 13th), Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street).

Now if you are not familiar with these names, maybe you live under a rock, or maybe you’re not a horror genre loving type of person, either way, let me brief you a bit. Mind you although I’ve seen all three, I was also pretty young when I did, (and being that they’ve remade them a billion times, it’s sometimes hard to keep up!) so forgive me while I Google, and if I get a few details wrong, my bad.

Scaretestant #1

Michael Myers (Halloween-1978)

myers1

As a child he kills his older sister on Halloween night, after knowing she had sex with a boy. He then gets put into a mental facility for 15 years. However, he escapes years later and is back for his younger sister and to cause havoc in his once quiet hometown. (seriously dude is the ultimate creeper, get a hobby bro)

Weapon of choice: Knife

Theme Song

 

Scaretestant #2

Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th-1980)

(seriously he has a last name? that’s news to me! I’ve just always thought of him as plain ole Jason…somehow I find that scarier)

jason

Camp counselors are stalked and murdered by an unknown assailant while trying to reopen a summer camp that was the site of a child’s drowning. Jason was the child that drowned, and his face was distorted therefore his reasoning to cover it with a hockey mask.

Weapon of choice: Machete (Wouldn’t it have made more sense for it to be a hockey stick haha… i guess that’s not so scary lol)

Theme Song

 

Scaretestant #3

Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street-1984)

freddy2

In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him. There is speculation that he was a child molester. And the lynch mob I assume was made up of the parents of the children he molested.

Hence why his clothing and face is burnt up. The whole spikey hand bit is just for fun I guess?

Weapon of choice: Knife Blade Glove meets dream invasion power… he inceptioned before “inception.”

Theme Song

So who’s the scariest???… I’d say Freddy, he’s the only one who has alternate powers. Sure you can run away from a guy with a knife or a knife glove, but you can’t run away from a dream killer! Freddy’s down fall is that you can see his face clearer then the others who wear masks, but then again masks can come off. Needless to say, Freddy’s face is creepier than any mask of choice! Freddy is creepy and has the added advantage of dream killing. What a little bitch huh? People have little control over what they dream, and that’s not a fair fight, is it? What a whimp, fight like a real man Freddy!! haha ;)The other two are just big boned stocky psycho freaks looking to terrorize people with masks and sharp objects. Although Jason’s true face is probably pretty freaky all on it’s on what with the water damage and all. But what’s Michael’s excuse for the mask…

ALSO…. we really need to do something about the image of a woman… in these horror films

Girls you need to be smarter… come on!!!!!

None of this

classic-scream

“Scream”

or this

house_of_wax

“House of Wax”

OR THIS!!!!

biel-the-texas-chainsaw-massacre_288x288

“Texas Chainsaw Massacre”
Ok J. Biel I admit you do survive and kick a little bit of ass in this film…but seriously why must you be half naked (oh and she gets wet… #wet-t-shirtcontest much?)

*Rules to survive a horror film*

1.) If someone knocks on the door while you’re babysitting alone, do NOT answer it, and keep all windows and doors locked, like really do I even have to explain this?

2.)Turn a damn light on when you enter a new room, or if you here a noise and go to investigate, bring a flashlight, homie!

3.) Stick together, do not separate from the group; strength in numbers, or you could just use the other person as a human shield, haha 😉

4.) When it’s time to run…RUN outside and scream like your life depends on it, someone somewhere should hear you…ditch the heels and don’t trip!

5.) And last but not least…keep your dang clothes on…and NEVER have sex….having sex is like asking to die…. when it comes to a horror film, haha, plus I’m so sick and tired of seeing girls run half naked…it’s like how far do you really think your gonna get in your boyfriend’s shirt AND barefoot. Get real GIRL!

So in a nutshell don’t be a dumb, ho!

Scream

So…Who do YOU think is scariest?

What do YOU think of the women in horror films?

AND

8 DAYS til Halloween, what’s everyone gonna be?

Well that’s all folks…

-<3-

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