Woman monster, woman child,
Woman hero, woman wild
Woman whisper, woman scream
Woman listen, woman free
Woman Mary, Jezebel
Woman heaven, woman hell
Woman teacher, womankind
Woman nature, woman rise
I am the Universe wrapped in skin
A few minutes in and she came to the realization that she didn’t really have a destination. She just needed to walk. She needed to breathe fresh air into her lungs. To feel connected to the world in some sort of strange way. She needed to find clarity. Purpose. Inspiration. Lulu didn’t quite know how to feel about her recent move to New York. She was unsure she’d ever fit in. But maybe that was the point. Always feeling like she was two steps behind everyone else…late to the game, is a phrase she knew well.
She needed to feel like she was finding a path for herself, or creating one. She needed to feel like she wasn’t a child, that she was growing and maturing. That she was going somewhere, that she was making her future happen, and not just waiting on it. Lulu needed to know that she could stand on her own, take care of herself. To begin her quest from girl to woman.
But she also needed to learn the difference between becoming independent, and pushing people away. Isolation is no way to live. There had to be a balance. Lulu needed to find it.
Isn’t that how it goes? Lulu ponders. Small town girl makes a splash in the big city? A fish out of water. It’s a scary thing uprooting your whole life, for a chance at something that may or may not ever happen. Lulu wanted to be a writer. To expand the minds of many. To expand their souls, and give them an escape from ordinary life even just for a minute.
Lulu’s goal was to make people feel like they aren’t alone. Like they have a friend in her. Someone who gets it. Who gets them. She wanted to make them feel like she saw them, she wanted to make them feel seen and understood. Lulu wasn’t used to scandalous behavior. Sure she wrote about it in her stories of young adults trying to find themselves, making mistakes along the way. But it was all based on imagination, it was nothing she herself had ever experienced. Write what you know, huh? Lulu did the opposite. She wrote what she wanted to know, what she wanted to explore and learn about. She wrote from imagination. The pinnacle key of creativity. Some would even go as far as to call her innocent, or a prude, or simply too naïve for her own good. But Lulu knew better. Her eyes were open. And she could see the world for all that it is. A mixture of happiness and sadness. A blur of blacks and whites. Fading. Gray areas. Colors like canary yellow and magenta. Lulu could see that life can be filled with depression and anxiety and then flip a switch and be blessed with joy and laughter. It was in these switches, that she would put pen to paper and try to make sense of it all. The pen is mightier.
So fellow writers. Who is Lulu? A small town girl moving to the big city? A fish out of water? A writer with a dream? A lost soul searching for her purpose? Is Lulu just like you? Just like me? Lulu is you. Lulu is me. Lulu is every twenty something struggling writer, every girl turning into a woman, Lulu is just trying to find who she is, and what her place in the world is, but there’s a few things to keep in mind along the way…
LISTEN to Lulu’s quest to womanhood.
* I do not take credit for the images used in my edit.*