Walk With Me.

walk with me

“I know I messed up,” he says sheepishly.

“I’m sure it won’t be the last time,” she says arms folded over her heart.

“Why do I keep doing this? I don’t mean to hurt you,” he says frustrated.

“Maybe because none of us are perfect. We just float around and try our best, and hope to God we get it right,” she says as she avoids eye contact, she kicks her feet in the sand.

“And if we don’t?” he says nervously.

“If we don’t, we hope that the person we hurt, can forgive us.” she says with a faint smile, looking up at him.

Clouds move.

Dreams shift from hearts to hands.

Sun shines bright, as the day nears its end.

Bare feet walk through miles of sand.

Waves pouring in the ocean, for eternity.

And in the whisper of the wind they stand.

On a beach somewhere.

Anywhere.

Everywhere.

It doesn’t really matter.

Heartbreak can happen wherever you land.

“But I love you,” he says meaning it with all his might.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t mess it up every now and then. We mess up the way we love sometimes,” she says staring up into his eyes.

The love is in the air.

Tainted by tension and uncertainty.

Was she trying to save them?

Or give them a peaceful pardon?

Was she going to walk away?

Or was she going to fight to stay?

And in the minutes that ticked by.

He glanced at her trying to read her mind.

As she gazed out across the water, mystified, and peaceful.

Tears forming in her eyes.

“Walk with me,” he says.

“Is that a question,” she replies.

“No it’s a heartfelt suggestion,” he answers with a helpless shrug and puppy dog eyes.

He extends a hand.

She takes it.

As the sun begins to set.

The moon peeking through high above them.

He turns to her and whispers; “I’m sorry.”

She smiles and replies “I forgive you.”

They dance.

They sing.

Deciding to let the past be the past.

As they walk along the beach hand in hand.

He turns to her and smiles.

She smiles back just the same.

“I hope you’re comfortable, because I’m never letting you go,” he says tightening his grip on her hand.

And sometimes, in the mist of loving each other, and making mistakes.

Sometimes, you try and you get it right.

 

-The End-

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edit.*

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Fall 2015 Bucket List

Fall is here. It is here, it is HERE! Yesterday marked the first day of fall or Autumn as my calendar so eloquently states. I love fall so much so here are just a few things I’m hoping to accomplish this year during this lovely time of oranges and browns, Halloween candy, and pumpkin spice everythang in yo face every 5 seconds. So I thought I’d share my list with you, and this way it’s in print and it’ll give me incentive to really strive to complete it. 😉

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My Fall 2015 Bucket List (in no particular order)

  1. Go Apple Picking– this is something I haven’t done in YEARS. And it’s something that seasonally is over pretty quickly. So I am going to make an extra effort this year to see if we can get this done.

2. Bake pies– I usually do this around Thanksgiving time. But it may be fun to bake a pumpkin pie for Halloween! I’ve actually never made a pumpkin pie before, so I’m excited to give it a try. I love pie, because it just reminds me of country life and fall breezes and just all around cozy-ness.

3. Drink them pumpkin dranks– sorry but I think at this point it’s just obligatory.

4. Go to a haunted house– this can probably tie into a few things later on in the list, which is going to a pumpkin patch outing or a fright fest outing. Pumpkin Patches sometimes have a bunch of attractions included. But I’m kind of a chicken when it comes to these things. I don’t know if I’ll have the guts to do this. We shall see.

5. Have a scary/Halloween movie marathon– Ok so I do love scary movies, they stay in the screen and don’t bother me so that I can handle. This year it has occurred to me, that I need to watch Hocus Pocus, because I don’t think I’ve ever sat through that whole movie, and yes you can yell at me. But what can I say I’m more of a Halloweentown fan!

6. Plan a kickass Halloween costume– currently I’m hoping to be Pocahontas. Every year I come up with a million ideas and then I settle on something totally random and simple. And every year Pocahontas is a contender. She is my favorite Disney princess and I would love to play her for a night. So this year, I think I’m gonna try my best to pull that off. My runner up is a biker chick, because I can totally reuse my Daryl Dixon vest from last year. We shall see.

7. Make fun plans for Halloween– someone please THROW A PARTY! I am so sick of feeling like if I don’t have fun crazy plans my Halloween is less cool. Damn you social media. 😉 Truth be told I’m a total grandma. I hate going out late and braving the crazy city on a night like Halloween. The city is nuts on that night. I prefer to attend house parties. It’s just so much simpler. You don’t have to worry about traveling in the cold, so you can dress up as whatever you want and not worry that it’s going to get covered by a jacket. You don’t have to worry about paying for overpriced drinks or searching for a un-crowded place to eat at 2am because you’re starving. I just like to go have fun, have a drink or two, enjoy some good food, and good company. Take some fun pics and then come home at a decent time, change into my pjs and watch some Halloween movies with some left over Halloween candy. That to me, is a epic Halloween. Is that too much to ask? And I know what you are going to say…if you want a Halloween party, throw one yourself. To be honest I would love to, but I’ve done it, and it is a lot of work, and it actually costs more money than you think. So I’m gonna give myself a pass this year and hold out hope that someone else will consider throwing one.

8. Go pumpkin picking– this is a big deal in my family, we usually get a big group together and pick a fun patch to go to. There’s a bunch of kids and they all have a great time. Also Apple Cider donuts are involved and that is just good living in the making.

9. Decorate/Carve pumpkins– usually I carve my pumpkins but last year I decorated mine and made her a spunky old lady named Juanita Cromwell. (yes in relation to The Halloweentown Cromwells) The year before that I carved mine and made her a badass chick named Rhonda. This year I’m not quite sure what I will want to do. When I carve them, they don’t last too long, and barely make it to Halloween, but when I don’t carve them they nearly outlasted my Christmas decorations. So maybe I’ll be an over achiever and do one of each. 😉

10. Corn Maze*

11. Hayride*

(10 & 11) -these things usually go hand in hand with pumpkin picking, so we’ll see if we can knock these off the list too.

12. Fright Fest– I’m not sure this will actually happen because it cost money and it’s pretty far. I went one year and I was pretty scared, they sense it and don’t leave you alone. I remember getting aggravated by the actors, because one guy was all dressed up and scary and he had a shovel, and he was shoveling at people’s feet. So when he kept doing it to me, I got so pissed and was like “um are you trying to trip me?” That in turn lessened my fear. Haha.

13. Experiment with Fun Fall Fashion [See: my last post]

14. Shoot a Horror short and release it in time for Halloween– The script is written and hopefully *fingers crossed* I can pull this off. Because I think it’d be really fun!

15. Consume a good amount of Halloween Candy– Candy Corn is a must.

16. Have a bonfire and make s’mores– This is a little difficult to do in the city, but I’ll see if we can swing it. If not, I did visit some family in the country and we got to have a fire pit and make s’mores and roast some hotdogs. That seriously gives me life. #THEOC

17. Fall crafts with my goddaughter– I’m thinking maybe some leaf art, or some Apple stamps. You know when you cut an apple in half, paint it on the inside and then stamp it onto a piece of paper. I think those will be fun, and she loves to paint! So I think she’ll enjoy those.

18. Decorate my house for Fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving– having the house decorated for the season is something that just sprinkles some joy around. And I love decorating, and getting into the spirit of things. It’s a reminder to stop and enjoy the time of year.

19. Hot Apple Cider– I usually just buy a bottle of this at whichever pumpkin patch we end up going to. I buy it cold, which tastes good. But when I’m home at night, I’ll pop a cup of it in the microwave and it is even better hot!

20. Oktoberfest– I always hear about this, but I’ve never attended. Pretty sure it’s all about drinking beer and such, so it may not be my thing. But I would like to look into it.

21. Applefest– I’ve gone every year for the past 3 years I think. It’s seriously a great time. It’s basically like this big town fair upstate and I have family up there so we go and look through town at all the venders. And then we spend time with family. It’s seriously one of my favorite things about fall. My staple purchases usually include; my favorite wine, some apple butter and jams, some unique piece of jewelry, a freshly made Belgium waffle, a fresh flower crown that I wear throughout the town, and maybe some other bits and bops I come across. I’m hoping I can continue the tradition and make it there this year.

22. Make chicken and waffles– I recently went to visit some family and I remember my Aunt telling me about how she makes chicken and waffles for dinner sometimes. And I freaked out, because those are two of my favorite things. It never occurred to me to make them together. My brother bought me a waffle maker for my birthday in March, and I still haven’t used it. So I think it’s about time I bust that baby out.

23. Attend a super bowl party– I’m not a football fan, nor am I even a sports fan. I mean I can sit and follow a baseball game, but that’s about it. Football I am lost on. But I think super bowl parties are mainly about food, and sharing good company. So I am hoping to attend one this year. Also I do love to watch the half time show. I’m hearing it may be Bruno Mars this year again, or I’m hearing rumors that it may be Taylor Swift. And OMG yes. T-swift is my girl.

24. Fall TV show premieres– #THEWALKINGDEAD #TGIT TV is my favorite past time, and I can not wait for all my favorite shows to come back! [I’ll post my fall tv schedule soon, so you can see what I watch.]

25. Roast Pumpkin Seeds– I have never done this, but I hear that they taste really good, so I thought I’d give it a try.

26. Host some kind of fun low-key fall event for me and my friends– I love throwing parties, I love playing hostess. It’s a lot of work, but it’s nice to create a theme and have people over to share and enjoy good food, good conversation and good memories. As I get older I realize how hectic life can get, and how it gets harder and harder to keep up with people. So when I plan things with friends, it’s nice to catch up and spend time with them in a fun environment. I’m thinking of doing something maybe like a “pumpkin party” where everyone brings something pumpkin flavored and we watch a fun Halloween movie or something.

So there you have it my Fall 2015 Bucket List. Wish me luck!

P.S. What are you planning to do this fall…did I miss any fall activities?

*I do not take credit for the images used.*

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QUICK BLOG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

I haven’t forgotten…(for anyone reading this series…)

New Chapters of Love Conflicted

COMING SOON!

LC poster

LC poster 2

Start the series from the beginning HERE!

OR catch up on the last chapter (Part 10) HERE!

Thanks for reading!

-<3-

2015 Fall Fashion Inspiration

Fall is literally right around the corner. And I’m going to be extremely common for just a second when I tell you this is my favorite time of year. My favorite things about fall are the crisp air (even if you wouldn’t know it because it’s still hot in NYC. I can feel the weather wanting to change.) I love the darker colors. I can wear black, and not bake in the heat. I love the promise of fun filled holidays and fun events. And last but not least I do love me some pumpkin flavored stuff. I’m not a fanatic about it, but I do think it’s a fall staple. So let’s get down to business here, shall we?

My 2015 Fall Fashion Inspiration

Beanies, Leather Jackets, Flannels, Converse…

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Cozy Sweaters, Ripped Jeans, Boots…

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Black on black outfits…

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Birkenstocks with socks…

I normally cringe at the idea of wearing socks with sandals. However, I bought a pair of knock off Birkenstocks this summer and I feel like I only wore them a few times. So I would like to continue to wear them through the fall. In fact the styling of the fall look is super cute. I can’t wait to give it a try.

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Scarves are my stable for the fall. I have one for every outfit. And they are just a really simple way to add some fashion sense to your outfits, and keep you warm at the same time.

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Big floppy hats…

I love the look of these hats and seeing as how it’s often too hot for me to function in the summer for me to leave hats on for too long, fall is much more suitable to rock these. I gotta get one!

floppy hats

The darker nail polish and makeup tones…as we speak my nails are black and I can’t wait to paint them Essie’s Wicked next!

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The tulle/ballerina tutu skirt, I have always been in awe of the Carrie Bradshaw fashion. She manages to pull off the most bizarre things. And these skirts are so beautiful to me, getting a nice black one and pairing it with some nice pumps for a night out would be gorgeous!

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Tori Kelly Curls…

Oh my god I am OBSESSED with this girl, with her voice, and her laidback fashion. BUT her hair is in a league of it’s own and I have been trying to replicate it, but I think I need a crimper. It’s just not big enough. For this look; the bigger the hair the better.

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Laidback dance rehearsal style outfits…

I’m not gonna lie, I have an obsession with dancer wardrobe. When Bethany Mota was on Dancing With The Stars two seasons ago, I would always love her rehearsal outfits. She always looked so cool and comfortable, but still really cute. Same goes for Jenna Dewan’s character in Step Up. I was always so in love with her outfits. In fact I’m a big fan of leg warmers, and I wear them a lot. The only ingredient missing is…I wish I was a dancer. I mean I love to dance and used to be in dance class as a kid, that counts, right?

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So there you have it, my Fall Fashion Inspiration.

What are some things you are excited to try this fall, let me know what I missed!

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any images used.*

Dumb Luck- A short script

“Dumb Luck”

A short script

Written By Michelle DeSantos

************************************************

Fade In; Establishing Shot: [a city street, cars honking]

Fade To: Setting: [INT. Neil Drake’s NYC studio apartment…his bedroom at Morning]

Scene 1: [High angle, aerial shot of clothes scattered across the floor, then pan over to Neil and a girl in bed]

Neil is sleeping with his latest hookup at his side; he has a dream of being with Haley.

*Insert flashback scene of Haley and Neil laying in bed as she smiles at him he brushes the hair out of her face.*

Back to the present and Neil’s alarm clock sounds loudly as he jolts up to find the other girl next to him, he shuts the alarm and sits up, his head in his hands. Seeing a picture of Haley and him on his end table he lays it face down and gets up and walks into the bathroom, to start his day.

CUT TO:

Scene 2: [INT. Neil Drake’s bedroom]

Neil is dressed for work and putting on his watch as the girl wakes up.

Neil: “Hey babe, I’ve got work, here’s some money for a cab,” he says throwing some her way, and grabbing his briefcase as he goes to leave. “But hey, last night was fun,” he says with a smirk and a wink as he leaves.

The girl sits up, and wraps herself in the blankets, as she goes to get her cell phone from her purse; she sees the picture laid down turning it over she looks on sadly, feeling used.

Girl: “Asshole,” she whispers running her hand through her hair in frustration.

(Molly V.O. – off screen) “There seems to be something said about those who are good outweighing those who are evil, but then again maybe you’ve never met Neil Drake.” (Between scenes 2&3)

CUT TO:

Scene 3: [EXT. City Block outside Drake’s Apartment]

Neil Drake is walking out of his apartment, feeling quite pleased with himself, he puts his I-pod on and hits play, as she struts down the block; nodding and throwing a smirk at a girl passing by walking her dog.

CUT TO:

Scene 4: [EXT. Outside of a train station]

Upon entering the subway station, he spots a 20 dollar bill, picking it up he puts it in his pocket with a happy grin.

CUT TO:

Scene 5: [INT. Train Platform]

The moment he gets down to the platform, the train arrives, as he gives the girl next to him a once over and she smiles back flirtatiously.

CUT TO:

Scene 6: [INT. Advertisement Office]

Neil sets into his office looking over some new advertising ads, as his secretary comes in.

Molly: “Good Morning, Mr. Drake.”

Neil: “Morning Ms. Molly.”

Molly: (Noticing the girl in Neil’s latest advertisement campaign) “Hmm classy, something tells me she woke up in your bed this morning.”

Neil: “Oh you know me so well,” he says dramatically with a sexy smirk and a slight laugh. “Do I have any messages?”

Molly: “Personal, yes…Business related, no.”

Neil smiles as she hands him his messages.

Molly: “Can I make an observation?”

Neil: “Of course, maybe even over dinner sometime,” he says looking up at her from his desk with a smirk.

Molly: “I don’t think so.”

Neil: “Why not?”

Molly: “Because the observation I was talking about, doesn’t exactly paint you in the best light.”

Neil: “Well lucky for me, I really don’t care what you think, and if you have a problem with my professional skills, I would be happy to fire you.”

Molly: “Oh do you mean lack there of, and don’t worry firing me won’t be necessary, because I quit.”

Neil: “Molly, wait, come on. I was joking you don’t have to get so serious all the time, you know I’d be lost here without you,” he says with a sarcastic smirk.

Molly: “Oh, I’m touched,” she says sarcastically clutching her chest, “You really don’t get it do you?”

Neil: “Get what?” he says with a sly smirk, flirting with her.

Molly: “You walk around this office like the world is yours, you treat women like their disposable to you, but trust me, I can have a sexual harassment suit drawn up so fast, that you wouldn’t be able to charm your way out of even with the best lawyer money has to buy,” she says leaning over his desk.

Neil: “Why, Ms. Molly is that a threat?” he says getting closer to her, as the desk acts as their only barrier.

Molly: “No, it’s a warning,” she says throwing his mail at him, and leaving his office with a strut.

CUT TO:

Scene 7: [INT. Advertisement Office]

Later that night Neil was getting his things ready to leave to meet yet another girl, when he stops to look at the picture of him and Haley on his desk, he then opens his desk draw and takes out a ring box and opens it as he is hit with yet another memory.

*Insert Flashback, of Haley crying as she throws a key at him, and storms out with her bags packed.*

Molly: “Heading out for another fun night with yet another poor naïve girl, Mr. Drake?” she says coming into his office from her cubicle just outside, as Neil hurriedly puts the picture down, and throws the ring back in his desk draw.

Neil: “Don’t you ever knock! — Look we need to get something straight, don’t make the mistake in thinking you can hold your little threat over my head, we both know your credibility is shot, no one is going to back you up, they all love me, I’m a great boss,” He says smirking and leaning back in his chair with his hands out.

Molly: (she sits on the edge of his desk) “Really, what about Karen from marketing, you know the one you stood up every time you asked her out, and Rebecca from printing, the one you only hired because she was pretty and oh gosh and then there’s always Haley (she says picking up the picture of him and Haley) the love of your life who you… cheated on, right?… Yea something tells me neither of those women are very fond of you.”

Neil: (Hearing her name he feels sucker punched) “Who told you about Haley?” he says looking up at her with shock and grabbing the picture from her hands.

Molly: “I have my sources, Shall I go on?” she says standing up, hands on her hips; challenging him.

Neil: “What is it that you want from me, exactly?” he says standing up and leaning on his desk.

Molly: “I want you to stop what you’ve been doing?”

Neil: “What is it to you what I do, and who I do it with? Oh wait, I get it, someone’s a little jealous,” he says touching her chin flirtatiously.

Molly: (She slaps his hand away angrily) “No Jackass, I couldn’t care less about you, but I happen to care about how you treat people, especially people who are a part of my life; (Neil looks on confused) Wow! You really don’t remember do you?” she says laughing and folding her arms.

Neil: “Remember what?” he says curiously with a sexy grin.

Molly: “Haley’s my sister.”

Neil: “What?” he says, his face falling.

Molly: “Well, half- sister but who’s counting right?” she says with a dismissing wave of hand.

Neil: “No, NO, I would have known if Haley had a sister, we were together for 5 years.”

Molly: Really? Or were you just too self- absorbed to even realize I wasn’t around because I was away at boarding school for a special design program. But then again she probably told you that, you just neglected to remember, because you were always too busy thinking about yourself. I’ll try to hide the hurt, (she says touching her heart dramatically). It’s a shame, you had it all, and you threw it away in one night, you’d think you would learn a little something from it, but I guess not,” She says about to leave his office.

Neil: “How is she?”

Molly smiles to herself as she turns back towards him.

Molly: “She’s great! She’s doing great for herself; and somehow she gets more and more beautiful everyday. But that’s none of your business anymore now is it?”

Neil: “Is she seeing anyone?”

Molly: (she laughs sarcastically) “You really don’t get it. You know I feel sorry for you, because one of these days you’re going to wake up in the middle of a life you despise, because the way you treat women is despicable. You’re a womanizing- insensitive- manipulative, excuse for a man- and my sister is lucky to be rid of you,” she says getting in his face.

Neil: “Maybe you’re right.”

Molly: “Oh I know I am,” she says in a whispery tone, folding her arms in satisfaction.

As Neil rushes past her and into the hall to unleash his pain, he closes his eyes as Haley flashes in his mind. *Insert Flashback sequence of Neil and Haley…*

“Naley” Montage:

Their First Meeting; at a Frat party, Haley is walking toward the bathroom and Neil bumps into her not looking where he was going, he apologizes and they both stare at each other as his eyes follow her after she leaves; instant spark; as if in slow motion.

Their First Date; ice cream, they sit at a small table and they talk. She’s laughing at something he says as he reaches over and wipes ice cream off her upper lip. She smiles at him and he stares at her.

Dancing Scene; at a party; they dance together, and she’s laughing as he twirls her.

Play Fighting Scene; In his apartment, on his couch, he’s tickling her and she’s laughing as she tries running away from him, but he catches her.

Funeral Scene; Dressed in black, she’s crying sitting on his coffee table he kneels in front of her and kisses her forehead as he sits next to her and holds her.

Birthday Party Scene; She brings out a cake for him and everyone sings to him, as he just stares at her lovingly.

Move in with me Scene; She comes over all cute and she brought him some homemade food, he smiles at her, and she kisses him on the cheek. She sees him just staring at her and he hands her a key, and she just looks at him shocked. “Move in with me?” he says. She streaks, hugging him.

Vacation Scene; A view of tropical trees and a stranger snapping a photo of them as they laugh and joke around.

She finds out Scene; Haley comes home to their empty apartment, she has some bags from shopping. She gets her coffee and sits at the table as she flips through a wedding magazine for fun. A texting noise is heard, she checks her phone but it isn’t hers. She finds Neil’s phone under the couch with a text message from another woman. Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth in shock. Neil comes home to find her bags packed. He looks at her with a nervous face. She’s angry but she begins to cry. He reaches for her then pulls back as his eyes begin to water, he doesn’t know what to do. They have it out and the relationship ends. Haley grabs her bags and goes to leave he grabs her and she shoves him off, she throws his key at him as she leaves.

**Conversation Guidelines for Flashback #9; “she finds out scene”

Neil comes home from the gym, to find a very upset Haley sitting in silence. He sees her bags packed, and her tear stained face.

Neil: “What’s wrong?” He says afraid to ask.

Haley: “Why don’t you take a wild guess?” She says looking at him angrily.

Neil: “Haley… I can explain,” he says nervously.

Haley: “Explain? (She laughs) There’s nothing to explain, your little friend called, she wants a repeat of the other night.”

Neil: (with tears in his eyes.) “I’m so sorry, it was a stupid drunken mistake, and it didn’t mean anything,” (he says walking toward her.)

Haley: (she stands up) “Don’t touch me; (she says defensively) what did you think that I wouldn’t find out? That you would go on acting as if it never happened; as if you never cheated. This whole time, I’ve been walking around without a clue as to who you truly are, how could you do this?”

Neil: “I wanted to tell you, I did, but I-”

Haley: “But what? There’s a difference between wanting to tell me, and actually doing it Neil. I can’t believe this is happening,” (she says turning away from him, crying, as she folds her arms across her chest trying to comfort herself.)

Neil: “Haley I was scared, I was so scared that if I told you that I messed up, you would leave me. I wouldn’t be able to handle that,” (he says reaching for her.)

Haley: (turns quickly around) Messed up? This isn’t forgetting to buy milk, or forgetting to make dinner reservations Neil, it’s forgetting that you made a commitment to me. And if you can forget that then I can’t be with you,” She says grabbing her bags and going to leave.

Neil goes to grab her, but she pushes him away and leaves, as Neil sinks to the floor, with is head in his hands.

(Flashbacks end)

CUT TO:

Scene 8: [INT. Restaurant waiting for a re-date with the girl in bed from earlier; Kelly]

***Kelly walks into the restaurant and Neil immediately gets up to greet her.

Neil: “Hi,” he says shameful of the way he treated her last time he saw her.

Kelly: “Hi,” she says in a tone of voice that let’s Neil know, she hasn’t forgotten.

Neil: “Thanks for agreeing to meet me.”

Kelly: “Well, imagine my surprise when you actually called, begging for a second chance.”

Neil: “I wasn’t exactly begging.”

Kelly: “Really- well then,” she says turning to leave with a playful smile on her face.

Neil: “Ok! You’re right, I did- kind of beg, a little.”

Kelly: “I thought so,” she says smiling.

Neil: “So- will you stay?” he says gesturing to their table.

Kelly: “I guess so,” she says sighing and giving him a skeptical glare, as he pulls her chair out for her.

Neil: “I’m really sorry about-”

Kelly: “You’re hit and run,” she says smirking and cracking her knuckles.

Neil: “Yea, (he says embarrassed) I acted like a complete-”

Kelly: “Dick.”

Neil: “Yea. I really am sorry. I should have never treated you the way I did.”

Kelly makes an expression agreeing with him.

Neil: “But I’m really glad you came.”

Kelly: “Are you?”

Neil: “Yea,” he says looking at her seriously, “Do you think that we can maybe, start over?”

Kelly: “Well,” she says sighing, “that depends.”

Neil: “On what?” he says with a nervous laugh.

Kelly: “On whether or not you’re paying,” she says taking a menu from the waitress as he looks at her with a smile.

CUT TO:

Scene 9: [EXT. Kelly’s Door Step.]

Kelly: “Well, I have to say I’m surprised.”

Neil: “Why?”

Kelly: “That you lasted the whole night, without slipping up.”

Neil: “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he says with a small laugh.

Kelly: “I don’t need to have confidence in you; you need to have confidence in yourself. You know by first glance you’re a really cocky guy, but it must really suck to lose the love of your life… I’m guessing that’s why you’ve become such a ladies man.”

Neil: “What are you- talking- about?” He says confused.

Kelly: “Neil, I’m studying to become a lawyer ok, cracking the case is a part of my life, (She says with a laugh.) The modeling I do for ads like yours, are just to pay my way through law school. I’m not just some stereotypical blonde bimbo, I do have eyes and a brain. But you’d know that if you looked past my body and actually got to know me. A guy, who still keeps pictures of his ex- in his house, means that most likely he screwed up and can’t get over it. Am I close?” She says squinting at him.

Neil: (laughing with a small sigh) “You’re very perceptive,” he says looking down.

Kelly: “Neil- I won’t be your rebound. I deserve to be with a guy who wants me for me; I won’t be a second rate version of your ex when I know I can have a man that wants a first rate me.”

Neil: “Kelly I-”

Kelly: “Goodnight Neil,” she says kissing him on the cheek and walking up the stairs to her house.

*Insert Haley Flashback; Haley laughing and kissing him on the cheek goodbye when they first met at a frat party.*

As Neil turns to walk down from Kelly’s doorstep, looking at his phone he scrolls through some old pictures of him and Haley, then upon looking up he sees Haley, and she’s laughing and on the arm of another guy, as they kiss he spots a big diamond ring on her finger, and he stands there in the shadows shocked, hurt and alone.

Molly: (V.O. – off screen) “And sometimes, evil doers get exactly what they deserve… For the first night in a long time Neil Drake went home alone.”

CUT TO:

Scene 10:

Neil walking home alone down a dimly lit block.

CUT TO:

Scene 11: End Scene [INT. Neil’s Apartment; at night]

Voicemail recording: “Hey Neil, its Molly. I hope our little run-in last week didn’t cause you too much heartache. Anyway you’ve got an obligation to your clients and your workers Neil. So…get your ass back to work, and I’ll try and go a little easier on you.”

Neil sits at home depressed and lonely. He hasn’t shaved in a few days and is still in pajamas. He’s drinking away his pain with alcohol. As bottles upon bottles of liquor cover his table, he continues to drink.

*Insert quick flashback- Neil passes by Molly’s cubicle and notices a picture of Haley, and her fiancé Drew on her desk; and next to it is a wedding invitation. Picking it up, it’s as if reality had slapped him in the face, as his eyes become watery.*

Remembering that moment; Neil takes yet another drink.

A knock comes at the door; Neil gets up aggravated and opens it.

Haley: “Hi,” she says looking down at her fidgeting hands.

Neil: (notices her ring is gone) “What are you doing here?” he says looking her over as his heart beats faster; he’s shocked to see her at his door.

Haley: “I don’t know,” she says laughing slightly. “I was engaged, I was engaged to a wonderful man, who has been only good to me, and-”

Neil: “Was engaged?” he says with hopeful eyes.

Haley: “Yes, and now I’m standing here at your door, and I don’t really know why,” she says shrugging as her eyes become watery.

Neil: “I think you do,” he says putting his hands in his pockets as his eyes stare right through her.

Haley: “I guess for some strange reason I just needed to see you, Molly told me you’ve been asking about me.”

Neil: “You know- I never did let you go, I still do love you, and I’m so sorry.”

Haley: “I don’t know if I can believe you,” she says looking up at him through glossy eyes.

Neil: “You can, I swear. Haley you can,” he says grabbing her into a tight embrace.

Suddenly Haley vanishes from his arms, and Neil jolts up from a long sleep; seeing a peacefully sleeping Haley lying next to him, he feels relieved and pulls her toward him as she snuggles against him; her body fades away. Neil wakes up at his table with bottles around him and a picture of him and Haley shattered on the floor, as the sound of the answering machine continues to beep.

-The End-

*******************************

This is a script I wrote back in college. It was one of the first full ones I wrote. It’s really rough around the edges format wise and even content wise. But I think there is a good story there. I just thought it’d be fun to share.

I attempted to shoot this a few years back. But we never got through the full script, due to scheduling issues. I was so ready, with my organized binder of ideas. I even made my “actors” (and by actors I mean my family and friends) take cast pictures. My photographer brother was even in the process of working on a movie poster for me, I should see if I can dig that up, that would be kind of cool to show you guys. I also had my Neil and Haley characters pose for couple’s photos that served as prop/set photos. (I’ll include a few below) Needless to say the filming didn’t pan out and I was pretty heartbroken. But I did get to shoot a really raw, uncut version of the “Naley” Montage. It’s terrible quality and I didn’t even know to use mics. But I am really glad I have that gem. It makes me feel nostalgic. Mind you this was before I knew the beauty of different angles and editing. #freshman. Hey we all have to start somewhere right? I haven’t gotten consent from my actors to release the footage so a few pics will just have to do.

What do you think of the story? Were you surprised by the ending? Or were you secretly hoping Haley would eventually find her way back to Neil? Tell me all the things! P.S. Molly’s MY favorite character, because you never see her coming!

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The actors who played Haley & Neil 😉

Naley evening

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*Morals of the story*

Don’t Cheat.

You can’t always get what you want.

Karma will eventually catch up to you.

-<3-

*All images and script content are of my own merit and brain and are of my own personal property, hope you enjoyed reading!*

-<3-

Is vulnerability a bad thing?

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There are things in life, I think we all have difficulties dealing with.

That urge to feel loved and accepted. Wanting to feel understood. Wanting to feel like our thoughts matter.

Starting a new journey in life. A new school, a new job, a new relationship.

Dealing with things that scare you. Fear can be crippling.

Anxiety, stress, depression. Death.

It is human nature to feel overwhelmed when your world dims and you feel like you’re slipping into darkness.

And when that happens it is also human nature to feel your feelings. To cry, to be angry, to want to yell and scream and stomp around like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

But what stops us from doing so?

Fear of being judged for feeling. For succumbing to life’s deepest heartaches.

I hate crying in front of people. I hate showing my deepest worries. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bother to others around me, or a sign that I’m not strong enough to handle what life has handed me.

For some reason we’ve been conditioned to feel ashamed of our emotions. To feel that if we somehow lay our cards out on the table for people to see, that somehow that makes us weak. So we hide it, or we let it all out in private.

I’m starting to try to let go of that. I’m trying to embrace the emotions and the feelings I have at the moment, and just ride that wave and cry it out. You’d be surprised how the weight that you’ve been carrying gets a little lighter after you’ve talked to someone, and had a good cry. The downsides are sometimes a splitting headache, puffy red swollen eyes, and the emotional drain and feelings of fatigue. However, sometimes it’s just the price you have to pay for an emotional release.

It’s been said that to be strong for someone else you have to be a rock. You have to hold in your emotions so that you can be there for them, because it isn’t about you. It’s about being there for them, and showing support. Letting them do all the crying while you just continue being the shoulder they need to lean on.

Are we robots? Are we not supposed to feel for someone going through a difficult time?

Sometimes no matter how hard you try your emotions will come, and if you are pushing them down so far, they will just build up until you explode.

I’ve carried this notion around with me for almost my whole life. That the best thing you can do to support someone in their time of need is to lock up your heart and keep it together.

Pull yourself together girl.

But as human beings isn’t it natural to feel for others. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. To feel what someone else is feeling. To be there with them. To cry with them. To put yourself in their shoes and to understand their pain. I don’t think tears are a sign of weakness, in fact I think it’s a sign of how strong we all are. How we can cry and get it all out and then somehow manage to pull ourselves back up and continue this journey of life.

Life isn’t easy. It is filled with scary what ifs and sometimes they overcast their darkness on what should be a beautiful experience. Life is meant to be lived and yet we get caught up in the fear. The fear of the unknown. Wondering what the next day would bring or what our futures held for us, used to be an exciting notion. As kids we’d dream about what we’d be when we’d grow up, and how our lives could be so grand. Dreams were at our finger tips.

So what changed? Why has society allowed simple human beings to feel as though being vulnerable is a bad thing? Because if you ask me, if we were all more honest and forth coming with our emotions the world would be a much more simpler, and happier place. We’d be happier.

Sure wearing your heart on your sleeve isn’t always going to work out. Sometimes you’ll get your heart-broken, sometimes the people you trust can disappoint you and may not react the way you’d like them to. But risking it can be worth it. Because in your heart of hearts you’ll know you were honest. You were human. It takes courage to be brave and show your heart.

So the next time you feel like the world is getting the best of you, don’t be afraid to feel it. Don’t be afraid to show it, or to cry it out. I know its taboo and it’s hard to be so vulnerable in front of others. But if you show who you are to people, they may just show you who they are. Your family and your friends care about you, and I am sure they only want to help you. Showing them your vulnerable side may just bring you all that much closer. It also may give them the freedom to feel like they can confide in you when they feel they need someone to talk to. There can be something so beautiful and inspiring about transparency. I’ve had so many candid, uncensored conversations with friends about real things, and I’ve never walked away regretting being vulnerable with them. Because I found that in way, we all deal with similar things.

It’s a slow process; learning that it’s ok to be vulnerable. I know. I am still working on it myself. And I still find that I stifle my emotions at times. But I’m learning that you don’t always have to do that. You can’t control how you feel. You should never have to feel like what you’re feeling is wrong. No one can ever tell you how to feel. They are your feelings. So own them.

*I’ll leave you with this for some inspiration… ❤

-<3-

*I do not take credit for any music, links, or images used.*

13 Unanswered Questions; Fangirl Life

So as the cleaning out and reorganizing my bedroom is slowly coming to a close, I have to share with you my adorkable findings.

Here is a list of questions I found that the teenage version of me would ask none other than Justin Timberlake, if I got the chance. These questions are very talk show interview esque (because duh, #fangirl).

Judging by these questions I’d probably date this back to anywhere over 9 years ago, so I was still a teen (so cut me some slack! I know these questions/comments are lame, haha.)

*Cue the nostalgia….

singinggg

Questions for Justin

  1. What nationality are you? I’ve read many different things. I know Timberlake is an Irish name? So?…
cheers

The man likes to drink, so I mean come on… Irish is a given, right? #ImIrishToo #ButNotMuchOfADrinker #SoTheresThat #Stereotypes 😉

*2015 Update: This question has always haunted me. I still don’t know the answer for sure.

2. Do you regret being a member of *NSYNC? Because you seem so almost aggravated when you get asked about the band. I mean speaking personally I grew up listening to *NSYNC, Britney, Christina. I was a 90’s kid and that would just break my heart if you regretted it. Because you guys as a group were a huge part of my childhood.

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*2015 Update: HAHAHAHAHA (no but seriously sometimes this question still applies.)

3. How do you manage to stay so humble in this business, and with everything you’ve already accomplished? I mean you’re still young and you’ve already done so much; music, acting, a clothing line, restaurant, golf course, a fragrance. I mean many wonder if there’s anything you can’t do?

lovestoned

*2015 Update: Clearly I’m in awe of him, and maybe there’s some unintentional flirtation going on here. haha.

4. Do you no longer have a desire to make any new music of your own? I mean I know you’ve been working with a number of artists since your last album, but just for you personally, have you given any thought to touring again? Or is that just not a possibility anytime soon? I mean just lift my spirits, you will eventually be making a third record right?

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*2015 Update: The pain that was those 7 Justin Timberlake music-less years. But if teenage Michelle only knew the whirlwind that was to come. 3 attended concerts and 2 albums later, I’m a solid believer he’s never going anywhere.

5. I know you meet a lot of people and a lot of fans, but is there any that you actually remember and truly value meeting? Or are they all just one big blur of fans?

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*2015 Update: *Hint hint *cough cough, will you remember ME?

6. I know you’re very close with Ellen. How did you two meet, and what made you two become so close?

justin and ellen

*2015 Update: Gosh, I’m so nosy….although hey I’d still like to know. Although it seems his new bestie is Jimmy Fallon 😉 #ISupportThat

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*FYI JT AND Ellen were on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon last night.

And spoiler alert…it as EPIC!

7. I know you did a lot of work on SNL. What would you say was your most memorable memory from set?

*2015 Update: Dick in a box? No? Maybe? Yes.

8. How did it feel to win an Emmy? Was it more of an honor than a VMA or a Grammy?

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*2015 Update: Seems like I’m trying to set him up here, haha.

9. Do you still keep in touch with the guys of *NSYNC?

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*2015 Update: They do and I’ve seen the instagrammable pics and that makes my heart smile. 🙂

10. I read somewhere that you have 2 younger brothers is that true?

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*2015 Update: (They are his half brothers.) *Hint hint, um can you hook a girl up? 😉

11. How did you learn of Michael Jackson’s passing? How did you feel? And did you reach out to the family at all? Or attend any memorials?

*2015 Update: Legend leading legend.

Oh and then there’s this too.

12. All relationships aside, how would you describe your perfect wife?

jessica-bie sans ring

Mrs. Timberake. The last stage of grief is acceptance my friends. 😉

*2015 Update: *Hint hint *cough cough…let’s get married. #SorryJess #ForgiveMe

13. Do you want kids in the future?

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*2015 Update: (that’s a big fat YES)  BABY SILAS….OMG YOU ARE THE CUTEST!

But

Before I go…

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Come on now, you didn’t think I’d leave you without a creepy photo shopped photo, did ya? Did I creep you out? Good. 😉

Love from a JT fangirl.

-<3-

The letter that went unsent

As promised more embarrassing acts of my teenage self.

Long story short, this is me trying to pull a “My Super Sweet 16” circa MTV style and get a celebrity appearance at my 16th birthday party. (um FYI this is from 8 years ago and now I feel ancient.)

In this letter, I really crack myself up, who did I think I was….haha.

This is back when fanmail was a thing, before the days of twitter.

Dear Bethany Joy Lenz-Galeotti,

(now currently back to Lenz)Bethany-Joy-bethany-joy-galeotti-18441547-387-602

First of all let me start off by saying hi, I’m Michelle DeSantos and I love One Tree Hill. In fact it’s my all-time favorite show. I love your character Haley, in fact my friends and I call each other oth names and I’m Haley because I’m so similar to her. I mean I can’t sing quite so amazingly as you and I’m not a married 16 year old but we have a lot of the same qualities. Anyway I love the whole Haley and Nathan relationship, it’s so sweet and you guys are so good together. I love James he’s an amazing actor and I think he’s really grown from season 1 as did you. However as far as all the women on the show you are my favorite, I just admire you so much. You are truly my idol. You are beautiful, smart, and amazingly talented. The main reason I’m writing however is because, my sixteenth birthday is coming up in March, the 26th actually. I was just wondering if you could possibly come and perform a song or two. I understand if you can’t, I mean I know I’m asking a lot and I know that you’re a busy woman but it’s just that it killed me to miss the oth tour and if you came it would be the ultimate icing on, my cake. It would be an honor to have you share in my birthday experience with me. Also if any of your oth co-stars can attend that would be so COOL! Pass it on, especially James I LOVE HIM!!!!

Thank you for your time,

God bless,

Love,

Michelle DeSantos ❤

P.S. the actual invitation with all the details is attached.

(haha I was so fancy!) I really laid the compliments on thick, huh? #flatterywillgetyoueverywhere 😉

*2015 Update: I still adore this woman! She still inspires me, and cracks me up!

*Joy’s Blog:

http://wishyouwereherelife.com/

************************************************

What was my Sweet 16 really like?…AWESOME!

my entrance

My entrance with my brother.

friendsss

I had the DJ play the oth theme song “I Don’t Wanna Be”- By Gavin Degraw on a loop throughout my candle lightings. Here I’m lighting a candle dedicated to my oldest friends and my dais girls.

I’m pretty sure I never sent this letter and my present self thanks my past self for that. #embarrasing16yearold #sorrybethanyjoy #ILied #sorrynotsorry #ImAFanGirlForLife

Hey Bethany maybe we can meet up one day, and do brunch? Isn’t that what all the cool kids are doing nowadays? haha 😉

What would that look like… #crappyedits

brunch

#besties 😉

I mean let's not forget this DID happen, and I DID freak out!

I mean let’s not forget this DID happen, and I DID freak out!

-<3-