*Blog Update*

So I know that my posts have been kind of out of sync with the usual schedule, but I’ve been a bit frazzled lately. There’s a lot going on and I tend to get overwhelmed fairly easily. You ever just need to take a beat and check yourself? As someone who deals with anxiety often, I noticed I have to do that, in order to keep my sanity and keep up with everything that I have to do. Because of the bustle that surrounds my world lately,  the blog inspiration has been lacking. I struggle when this happens, because I hate posting just to post.

But with that being said I thought maybe it’d be cool to give you a little blog update. I have some fun posts in mind, it’s just a matter of getting my shit together and writing them.

I HAVE NO TIME! I’M TIRED! I’M STRESSED! I WANT TO SLEEP FOR A YEAR!

Rant over. 😉

Coming your way we have the Welcome Home “Soundtrack” and Author’s Commentary. If you haven’t read Welcome Home you can start it from the beginning HERE.

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Also I am attempting to dive into a new short story series….I’m still working on the title (I have a bunch of variations that I can’t decide on) but here’s a quick little sneak peek at the summary-

Liam Whitmore is a wealthy business executive who goes through the motions of working in his corporate world day after lousy day, making deals and kicking ass at it. However he often feels uninspired, and unable to do what he really loves. Until one day he meets a younger woman named Aria Lenz, struggling to become a dancer. Her simplistic yet driven nature strikes up a spark of inspiration in him, and he makes it his mission to get to know her. Little does he know, it’ll be the hardest “transaction” he’s ever had to make. They’re worlds apart- will he finally get through to her, or will his fire fizzle?

There- it’s out in the universe. So I have no choice, now I HAVE to get writing. Haha.

Talk Soon!

-<3-

 

 

 

 

“She Said” Update

Hey Readers!

When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure how people would react to it- strangers reading my work? How…strange.

But recently a few things have popped up regarding a monologue I posted two years ago.

She Said was posted on September 1, 2014.

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The inspiration for it simply came from just getting in the mindset of someone who had just had their heart handed to them. And what they would be feeling.

I want to say sometime last year, I got a message from a woman asking me for some background info about “She” because she had used my monologue for an audition into an acting school of some sorts. I tried to get some information out of her, because I wanted to know more about what the situation was before providing original work to a stranger. But unfortunately she never responded.

Needless to say within the last few days, I received a new message from a guy by the name Omar Salgado about this same monologue. He said he was inspired to create a vimeo video based off of it. And I thought it was really cool and wanted to share it.

This led to him linking a dramatic reading of my monologue. One he used as the audio for his piece above- read by a woman by the name, Eva Augustina Sinotte. I didn’t even know this existed on YouTube! I wonder if she was the woman who contacted me. Her emotion is on point!

Seeing people respond to my work, in their own creative ways is really something cool and surreal. I hear my words and see them mirror the story I created and it is truly a super weird feeling. Don’t get me wrong I am flattered, but it’s crazy that these things were being made, and I had no clue! I’m thankful that Omar reached out to me and gave me credit. I got to see that people can be inspired by something I’ve written. I can only hope this is the first of many inspirations to come.

The internet man, what a trip! 

The journey does continue…On September 2, 2014-a day later, I posted He Said, She Said.

This time you get to see the conversation between both She and He.

Enjoy!

 

*I do not take credit for the images used in my edits or in the videos used.*

-<3-

 

 

Welcome Home.

Hey guys, it’s that time again…I’ve been toying around with this first bit of a new short story series for a while. I like how it’s shaping up. This new story series will probably send us into the new year, and long after. #AlwaysRambling.  I hope you will join in and read along!

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Meet Melanie…

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Melanie stares at her reflection in an airport bathroom. Her crystal blue eyes stare back at her.

She fluffs her hair and reaches into her purse for her lip gloss, as she applies some of her favorite very berry with just a hint of pink, and is instantly hit with a feeling of déjà vu. 

Time freezes and she thinks of him. As she often does.

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There she stands in front of her vanity applying her lipstick as she feels him watching her from the doorway of their bedroom.

Turning with a smile, she says, “What are you looking at?”

He smirks, “Everything,” he says casually leaning against the wooden door molding.

“Yea? And…do you like what you see?” she says showing off her outfit.

He smiles and walks over to her, taking her hand he spins her around, as his eyes glance over her full ensemble.

“You. Look. Sexy as hell,” he smiles pulling her to him and kissing her.

She smiles against his lips as she cups his face, her diamond ring sparkling as it sits on her left hand.

Melanie is brought back to reality as a stranger sets off the hand dryer nearby.

She shakes off the memory as she looks at her now empty ring finger.

She looks at herself in the mirror once more.

You can do this, she thinks to herself.

Melanie wipes a tear from her eye, as her cell phone begins to ring.

Grabbing her plaid suitcase and purse, she strolls into the airport lobby, answering her phone.

“Hey mom.”

“Sweetheart! Did you land yet?”

“Yes. Just now actually, I am just about to head out and grab a cab.”

“Oh honey I’m so sorry we couldn’t meet you, there’s just so much prep to do, we have the whole family coming early tomorrow morning.”

“Mom it’s really ok. I understand. It’s no big deal. I will see you soon.”

“Ok honey! Oh I am so excited to see you!”

“Me too. Love you, see you in a bit,” Melanie says with a smile.

“Love you, bye.”

Melanie hangs up and heads toward the exit. Stepping toward the end of the curb, she raises her hand to hail a cab. The fall chill nipping at her nose.

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“Thank you,” Melanie says to her cab driver as he unloads her suitcase for her.

She looks up at her childhood home, and instantly her heart is full.

She smiles at the festive decorations of hay stacks, pumpkins, scarecrows and twinkling lanterns that line the pathway to the door which is dressed in a sunflower wreath. Orange, yellow, red and green flood her eyes as she blinks to feel more grounded.

It’s been a while.

She reaches for the door knob, the cold gold feeling strange yet familiar at the same time. And turning it, she peers in. Her nostrils instantly flooded with her mom’s famous sweet potato pie and cranberry stuffing.

“Hello?”  She says wheeling her suitcase in as her low heeled booties click and clack over the hard cherry wood floor.

She hears some clinking and banging in the kitchen and then is met by her mother’s streaks and open arms.

“Melanie!!!! Oh my word. You look fantastic,” she says hugging her daughter tightly.

“Hey Mom,” she says smiling.

“Is that my Mel belle that just walked in?” her dad says walking in the front door in his work clothes and rushing to hug her too.

Melanie smiles as she hugs her parents.

“It’s good to be home,” she says finally feeling an inner peace.

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“Mom can I help you with anything?” she asks as she settles in on a chair at the island across from where her mother works on mixing up some cornbread batter.

“You could get started on the sticky buns?” she says with a smile.

Melanie smiles back with wide eyes.

“Sure,” she says standing and heading to the fridge.

“You remember how to make them?” her mom says peering over the edges of her red rimmed eyeglasses. 

“You put them in the oven, let them rise, add some honey and brown sugar and then get to starting on the glaze.”

“And…” her mom says with a questioning smile.  

“Add a little extra cinnamon for a lot of extra love, How could I ever forget?” she says as her mom smiles at her.

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Melanie sits in front of the fireplace. Her eyes glazing over as she watches the flames flicker away.

An image flashes in her mind of him. Them. On that very same couch. He leans over.

“So…are we actually alone in this big old house?”

“I think so,” she says looking over at him her eyes smiling with a sparkle.

He smirks, and leans over to her, kissing her. As he leans into her, the kisses intensify as he switches them to a laying down position, him above her gazing down into her eyes.

“Promise me something?” he says tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Anything,” She says gazing back her hands wrapped around his waist.

“Promise you’ll never leave me.”

“Never,” she says reaching up and cupping his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

“Good, because I don’t think I can handle that.”

She smiles, her heart bursting as they kiss into the night, their clothes disguarded piece by piece.

Melanie looks around her living room, it’s emptier now.

She shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

She sighs, her heart heavy.

You can do this, she thinks.

Her eyes begin to well up.

“Honey?”

Melanie looks up to find her mother looking at her with concern.

“Melanie, what’s wrong? Or do I even have to ask?”

Melanie smiles simply as she brushes a single tear off her cheek with her cream colored oversized sweater sleeve.

“If we’re going to do this…I’m going to need a little liquid courage.”

“I have some Thanksgiving Day punch, shall we sneak a little in tonight?”

“Yes please,” she says smiling faintly.

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“So…have you seen him?” Melanie asks looking over the brim of her glass as she throws back a giant gulp of Thanksgiving Day punch.

“I have,” her mother says carefully, calmly.

“How is he?” Melanie inquires  caught between wanting to know and not wanting to know but having to ask anyway no matter what the truth may be.

“He seems good.”

“Good. I’m glad. I want him to be good.”

“He asked about you.”

Melanie sighs looking away.  

“Did you tell him I was coming home for the holidays?”

“Did you want me to?”

“No. I mean I don’t know. Town like ours, I’m sure I’m bound to run into him anyway so…”

“He knows. He guessed.”

“Ah,” she says her eyebrows raising.

“He always had a way of knowing you better than anybody…”

“Except you.” She says smiling at her mom.

“Well yes, mother knows best.” She smiles.

“I know I see him every few years. You’d think it’d get easier. But it hasn’t, it just gets harder. I don’t know what to say, or what to do. He deserves so much better than I could ever give him.”

“Honey, I don’t think there is any resentment there. Not anymore. Time does heal.”

“Not all wounds.”

“Maybe not yours. But he seems very much ok. Moved on even.”

Melanie ponders, her eyes watering, and her mind racing as she looks back at the fire, the flames crackling and glistening in the night. She takes another sip of her punch as she stares off into space.

Her mother watching on with a sad heart.

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Who’s this mystery man, that lurks through Melanie’s thoughts?

To be continued…

-<3-

Pause-A Quick Message

Hello lovely readers,

So this message is for anyone who cares, lol. It would appear that I’ve broken a decent posting streak as I failed to post at all last week. I was working on a Halloween story, but that got pushed back in the midst of life’s craziness. And this week is literally the week of my brother’s wedding, so I will not be posting this week either. Ah, things happen. But consistency and this blog mean so much to me, that I hate that this has to be the case. But it is just for a bit. I will be back soon, with some new stories!

Regular Monday & Thursday posting will pick up Monday, November 14th!

Thanks!

And Happy Week to all!

-<3-

Michelle

 

Writer’s Corner: The Neglectful Writer

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Anyone who stumbles upon this blog recently, would think of it as a fashion/lifestyle vibes type blog. The truth of the matter is on some days it is. These are things I am interested in and this blog is basically an open diary featuring things I love and care deeply about.  But at the root it is supposed to be a safe place to tell the stories I have been harboring in my heart and soul and notebooks for years. Or the stories I get inspired to write day by day. And because of this, I feel like my blog motto has taken a bit of a blow over the past few months.

Lately, (and I know I’ve posted things like this before) I have been neglecting writing my own stories. It’s something I’ve been avoiding. Coming up with excuse after excuse, first it was well I’m starting a new job- I need to get acclimated, then it became well now I’m just too busy to write, (life is too crazy, too much is going on, *hint hint* Dear Michelle, this is your clue- all the more reason to write down your feelings) and now I don’t know maybe it’s the summer slump that’s getting to me.

Writer’s block is real. But I think this is bigger. This isn’t the first time I’ve struggled to create [what I feel] is worthy content, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. But this feels like a bit more than a block. It’s not so much like I haven’t had ideas, I always have ideas floating around in my head. It’s just that when I sit to start a blog post, there’s nothing there. And I end up looking for fashion inspiration and doing a post about that instead. 

That pilot script for my own television show I’ve been meaning to write since I was in high school has yet to get started. My short story series “On The Run” I started back in March, has been on a halt. Every time I start a series, I end up going on a hiatus for a longer time than I should. It’s like I lose momentum, or I’m just too lazy to take the time to finish. Sometimes I can have a great story idea and I will even jot it down, but I never write it up. Often times just the thought of sitting at a computer for hours drumming out a story, just is too much of a tall order and I decide against it and instead decide to watch my favorite tv shows and obsess over the love stories of my favorite couples. (*hint hint* Dear Michelle, but what about YOUR characters, what about their love stories.) Not to mention that my blog posting schedule has been all over the place lately. Ugh, I hate when that happens, I really do.

It’s terrible to have to feel the guilt of finally admitting to myself that I am a writer and then feeling as though I’ve bailed on it completely. I feel like I’ve been struggling with inspiration lately. As I mentioned this has happened before and I’ve pushed through it, so I know I will this time too. But it doesn’t make it any easier, to go through it. Sure life gets busy and it becomes easy to neglect our passions. But I imagine creative people with creative souls go through this vicious cycle every now and again. I’ve seen the many YouTubers talk all about it. It’s just a funk.

In fact a quote by Anne Tyler comes to mind in this moment while I sit and ponder why a writer doesn’t want to write…

“If I waited til I felt like writing, I’d never write at all.”

That’s what it is. I’ve just been waiting. Waiting to have time. Waiting to feel less tired. Waiting to get everything just so, in my head BEFORE writing it down on the page. Waiting for inspiration to strike. Waiting- to write. The truth is the only thing that is going to help me break this bullshit streak, is just to nip it in the bud and write. Just write. Even if it sucks. And start the scripts I’ve been writing in my head for basically half my life.

Who knows maybe this post was my therapy. Writing this post is like my version of a girl going through a bad breakup who decides to burn all her exes pictures and letters. Haha. I find that when something is getting to me and feels like a weight on my back-pushing me down, preventing me from reaching my full potential and I write a blog post about it, it’s kind of like me releasing it into the world and admitting it to myself and realizing that it’s something that either just needed to be said, or something that I feel I need to spend my time working on and improving. For the past year and half I have put so much work into bettering myself and conquering my anxiety over certain aspects in my life. This is currently the main issue I need to put my focus on. I have faith that I can conquer this one too. Hey I’ve done it before. I can certainly do it again- only this time, I’m going to do it better.

And for anyone dealing with their own personal writer’s slump, may your pen be mightier than that sword you feel has pierced your creative soul.

*I do not take credit for the image used.*

-<3-

 

Her Red Lips & His Wedding Ring

Ok guys I have to be honest here. I’ve been seriously lacking on the blog inspiration front. I just don’t feel like I have anything prominent I need to post. Don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying writing the “On The Run” series, but I don’t want to clock up my blog by just posting that. I need to switch things up. But as I sit here a few ideas float by, but I don’t love them. I hate posting fillers, however, I feel like I haven’t been sticking to a consistent enough posting schedule and that bugs me. So I enlisted a little forced inspirational help for this post. Sometimes, it happens.

In my – 642 Things to Write About book, I had written a very sassy answer to this writing prompt: What a character wearing something red is thinking

She sits across from him. Her RED vibrant lips curve into a seductive smile. And the only thing on her mind is leaving her mark. A red lip stain on a white collared shirt…screams… you’re cheating on your wife.

Let’s see what I can do with this little number. I actually have an idea…I recently had a conversation on the train with a friend about married men and how some women find them more desirable than single men, something about the ring. Let’s infuse these two shall we?

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red lips wedding ring

Two girls stand on the train, each holding onto the center pole, as the train rides along the tracks, they sway back and forth.

“You know they say that once a man is married he becomes more desirable. Like when women see men wearing a wedding ring, it proves they can provide for someone.”

“What? That’s disgusting. That makes no sense. I always do a ring check. Always.”

“That’s because you have morals.”

“Oh my god, that’s just so class-less,  so slutty. That’s the definition of a home wrecker. I don’t understand that. I mean if a man can do that to his wife, then-“

“He’ll do it to her too.”

“Yes, exactly. And why would you want a man like that?”

“Beats me.”

The two women move onto their next topic of conversation. As another young brunette comes into focus as she eyes a handsome man in a suit sitting across from her. She laughs to herself as she notices he’s playing with his wedding ring.

She sits across from him. Her RED vibrant lips curve into a seductive smile. And the only thing on her mind is leaving her mark. A red lip stain on a white collared shirt…screams…you’re cheating on your wife.

The man looks up from his phone and meets her gaze.

He’s slightly confused, when she won’t look away.

She bites her lip, her gaze still holding, burning through him.

The man stirs in his seat, uncomfortably.

He looks behind him, to check the stop.

He stands up quickly and faces the door as he holds onto the pole, awaiting his stop impatiently.

The woman rises and walks over to stand beside him.

His gaze focuses on the door windows ahead.

“Hi,” she says her voice dripping with overly sexual tendencies.

He ignores her first attempt.

She smiles and laughs.

“Hmm, well aren’t you Mr. Rude.”

The train stops and the doors open, the man steps off with a brisk walk onto the platform, heading to the nearest staircase.

The woman wraps her trench coat tighter around her as she follows.

The man reaches the exit turn style and decides to go through the emergency door, as he’s about to push it open, the red lipped stranger swoops in.

“Allow me,” says pushing the door open for him.

He looks at her.

“Thank you,” he says rushing past her and heading to the stairs to exit the train station.

She smirks wickedly as she struts behind him.

They both exit and begin walking on the street.

The man glances behind him, he notices the red lips glisten in the light of a store front. His stomach knots, as his pace quickens.

The man passes an old auto body shop, and in the dark everything looks sinful. Everything looks hidden and secretive.

Finally the man stops short and turns to face this mysterious stalker.

“I’m married,” he says in a harsh tone.

“I can tell.”

“And?” he asks in shock.

She makes a face of confusion.

“Doesn’t that matter to you?” he says surprised.

“No. Not really. Does it matter to you?” she asks her eyes gleaming with intensity and trouble.

The man is silent for a beat.

“Yes,” he says looking her over.

“Hmm. Hesitation. Interesting.”

The man looks down, avoiding her stare.

“You look like you’d be a lot of fun,” she says walking closer.

The man steps back.

“Look I don’t know who you are. Maybe you think you know me from somewhere. But I assure you we’ve never met before.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“Really? And here I thought we were spending every night together, hidden in the darkness.”

He narrows his eyes at her.

“In our dreams,” she smirks.

He smirks letting out a small chuckle.

“I’m sure you could use a little spice in your routine?” she says stroking his chest.

The man looks at her and steps back again.

“Are we done yet?” she says looking at the man, her hands on her hips.

“Yea, that’s enough role play for tonight” he laughs, “come here,” he says grabbing her and kissing her as they hide in the shadows on the night.

“I missed you,” she says in between heated kissing.

“I missed you too.”

“When are you gonna leave her?”

“Come on baby, you know I can’t do that,” he smirks pulling her into another kiss.

She stops him and looks up at him angrily.

“What happened to your plan? You know the plan you told me about a month ago. How you were going to sit her down and ask for a divorce, so that we can be together. You keep telling me how you love me and that you’d rather be with me, but it’s always something. Some reason why you can’t. Am I just wasting my time, waiting for you?

“Hey come on, (he grabs her hand, pulling her waist in.) What are you saying?  You know I love you.What do you think?”

She looks at him.

His phone rings.

She sighs and detaches herself from him, rolling her eyes, she folds her arms, annoyed.

“Hey baby,” he answers turning away from his current company.

“Yes I’m walking home now.”

“Sure. I’ll pick up some milk.”

“Ok. See you soon. I love you too,” he says hanging his phone up.

As he begins to turn back toward her, the light from a distanced street lamp casts a slight glimmer and she notices something on his white collar.

He faces her with a smile.

“I’m sorry. I had to-“

“Don’t,” she holds up her hand, stopping him from continuing.

“What is that on your collar?” she says pulling the collar to get a better look.

“Is that lipstick?”

“It’s yours,” he says nonchalantly.

“No. It’s not my color.”

He freezes. Busted.

“And considering that’s a fresh mark, and you’re  just now coming back from work, that means that it isn’t your wife’s either.”

“I can explain.”

“Can you? Really? Because I think the only explanation that makes sense is that you are a slimy, scheming, cheating piece of trash. What are two women just not enough for you?”

He laughs.

“Hunny please. I’ve been cheating on my wife of 7 years with you for the past year and a half. What did you expect? What did you think- you were different?”

She looks at him, her heart breaking as tears begin to form.

“You are disgusting,” she says her voice laced with venom.

“Hmm interesting, aren’t you the same girl who spread yourself across any surface to please an already married man.”

She looks him, her pride hindered tremendously.

“Yea that’s what I thought. Whether you like it or not, we’re the same,” he says, his true colors showing brightly in the night.

“Go to hell!” she yells as he begins to continue his walk home.

“I’ll see you there,” he says turning her way mid walk and smirking as he sets back to his initial route.

The tears fall freely as she turns to begin walking the opposite way, she catches her reflection in a store front window.

Sin. Despair. Disappointment. Disdain. Disgust. Anger. Heartbreak.

All evident.

She wipes her lips with the back of her hand, as red lipstick smears.

She takes out her cell phone.

“Hello, operator? Hi, I’d like a number for a Sarah Pikeman. I need to get in touch with her. It’s urgent. There’s something she needs to know.”

“Thank you, I’ll wait.”

She smiles as she continues her walk home.

-End-

There you have it, a little insight into my creative process, how things can fuse together to create a scene or a short story. Hope you enjoyed!

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Conflicted Soundtrack & Author’s Commentary

BACK STORY: Over the past 8 months or so Love Conflicted has been featured on and off the michelle leigh writes blog. Its premiere date was May 11th 2015, and the consistent updates lasted through June 25th 2015. Then I took a massive hiatus from the series. I finally got my act together in the New Year and finished it this week, finishing my stories is incredibly important to me, far too many go unfinished. It was important for me to see this through. Seeing as how I slipped up on this week’s schedule, I figured I’d give you a rare Sunday post, I am thinking about adding Sundays to the schedule, so that will put me at a 3 times a week schedule. However, it is to still be determined, if I can actually commit to that, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But I may do a trial run and see if it works out. As promised here is the Love Conflicted inspired “Soundtrack” and My Author’s Commentary.

DISCLAIMER: Love Conflicted is not a real motion picture nor does it have a soundtrack coming out. This is just me living in my fictional happy writer’s world. Where I pretend and where I run the show. Haha. Back in college whenever I would hand in a script or be working with already written material/feature film scenes, my professor would ask me who I would have play the characters, where would it take place, what location? And so I think that kind of stuck with me, because as I write this story series I want to include those aspects and give you a visual experience. Mysterious Attraction was my first shot at it, recently A Broken Heart For Christmas, and now also with Love Conflicted. Along the way there have been little one shots, or shorts including a few parts as I will. But that distinction is not always clear, I don’t always know how long a story is going to take to tell. As a kid I used to say “Make Pretend” all the time. Make Pretend you’re a princess who slays dragons. Make pretend you’re a ballerina who bull rides. Make pretend you’re writing a screenplay and you get to pick the actors, and release a soundtrack and commentary that people have been anxiously awaiting. The options could be endless. So let’s “Make Pretend.” Enjoy!

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OFFICAL FULL CAST PROMOTIONAL PHOTO RELEASED 😉

Official full cast photo movie poster

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**Love Conflicted** “Soundtrack”

Happy Listening!

ALBUM ARTWORK:

Love conflicted soundtrack

Track List

  1. “All In My Head”– Tori Kelly
  2. “I Know What You Did Last Summer”– Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
  3. “Revival”– Selena Gomez
  4. “Call of the Wild”– Bethany Joy Lenz
  5. “Water Under the Bridge”– Adele
  6. “The Last Time”– Taylor Swift Ft. Gary Lightbody
  7. “Sad Beautiful Tragic”-Taylor Swift
  8. “Blindness”– Justin Timberlake
  9. “What A Good Woman Does”– Joy Williams
  10. “Until the Levee”– Joy Williams
  11. “Stitches”– Shawn Mendes
  12. “I’ll Show You”– Justin Bieber
  13. “Please”– Bethany Joy Lenz
  14. “Stealing”– Gavin Degraw
  15. “When I Was Your Man”– Bruno Mars
  16. “It Will Rain”– Bruno Mars
  17. “The One That Got Away”– The Civil Wars
  18. “Disarm”– The Civil Wars
  19. “I’m A Mess”– Ed Sheeran
  20. “I See Fire”– Ed Sheeran
  21. “Maybe”– Everly-(Bethany Joy Lenz & Amber Sweeney)
  22. “You Found Me”– The Fray
  23. “Leave You Alone”– Kris Allen
  24. “Wanted You More”– Lady Antebellum
  25. “Lesson Learned”– Ray LaMontagne

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Onto the next portion…My Love Conflicted *Author’s Commentary*

GENERAL NOTES:

This drama series was rooted in the love story between two unlikely souls. Maggie an elementary school teacher and Ricky an undercover “mobster” who thought he was working for an honorable CIA organization that turned out to be corrupt. Maggie and Ricky meet by chance and experience an instant spark. The bulk of their relationship is rooted in sub context. You don’t really see much of their love in current time. You experience it through the occasional flashback, through the stories they share about each other, and through the intense conversations they have when are reunited for brief periods of time. You get to see their life together through images on Maggie’s phone as well.

Lily and Ian are introduced gradually. I always feel that my mind automatically goes to a minimum of a 4 person cast. The love story is there, boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy gets girl, boy screws up, boy tries to win girl back. And in the mist of all that the story has to keep going…enter supporting characters Ian and Lily. They’re budding love story is just a happy coincidence. Their story is one of a lighter more sarcastic, sassy and fun tone. In contrast to Maggie and Ricky’s love story which is no heartbreaking and so dramatically driven. The “I can’t breathe without you” feel is heavy for those too. Yet Ian and Lily keep things light and let’s be honest they are most comedy you’ll get here. Lily has her one liners that zing, doesn’t she?

Also the story lines Mob nod must be a trend, huh? [See Mysterious Attraction] Ode to Sonny Corinthos and General Hospital.

THEMES:

There are consistent themes of Love, Friendship, Trust, Fear, Bravery, Finding yourself, Coming into your own skin, Independence, Guilt, and ultimately rebuilding and waking each other up to inspire a better way of life. That goes for all characters and all forms of the relationships between these 4 people.

DREAM CASTING:

When I sat down with the first scene, it was somewhat of a scene that resembled the first part, where there was this back and forth between Ricky and a female character. You could tell she was angry with him and there was a very good reason, one that he was trying to make light of and gloss over with charm and his belief in their love. His belief that love could somehow help them overcome the catastrophic bomb he just dropped on her. i.e.: that he’s essentially a hit man. But I never really knew who these character would become and getting to know them and writing their dialogue and choosing how they would handle things, that’s been the most fun.

Ricky and Maggie

Ricky: Jesse Lee Soffer (I think he and Lenz would be magic on screen together!)

Ricky faces the blow back from years of horrifying assignments. He finally realizes that what he’s been doing hasn’t been for the better of his country. As he comes to grips with that reality he is faced with trying to protect the woman he loves in the mist of trying to out his corrupt boss, Cobbs. Ricky is a good hearted man, but his job has trained him to perceive himself as a villain of sorts. We never meet Cobbs but we don’t have to. His threat is there, it’s real and evident in Ricky’s fear. He’s almost like this mysterious ghost that looms over them, and we never know if he’s actually going to make his move. I wanted the threat and the fear to be real, without having to have some big reveal or altercation with the actual threat himself. I wanted to sway away from the route Mysterious Attraction took, of kidnappings, and hostage situations. Although the dangers were very similar, the main altercation was ultimately Ricky’s arrest and his choosing to let Maggie go, completely breaking her heart and his own.

 Maggie: Bethany Joy Lenz (She is my QUEEN…I can’t even tell you!)

Maggie is that girl that is so kind and beautiful and so full of hope and light that you just expect no one to ever hurt her. That and the fact that she closes herself off from any kind of risk. Therefore insuring herself she won’t get hurt. She’s the girl that is completely unaware of how amazing she is, and is timid in her sexuality. Meeting Ricky who instantly uses his charm and wit to convince her to take a risk makes her feel alive. The fact that he looks at her in a way that she’s never been looked at before, does wonders for her too. But with all that being said, Maggie comes into her own as she slowly realizes everyone around her is trying to coddle her. She hates feeling like a victim and chooses to take her life in her own hands, going after what she wants.

candice-lily

Lily: Candice Accola-King

If you know my writing, you know the best friend is always the sassy one. [See: Demi Lovato as Roxy in Mysterious Attraction.] I don’t know what it is. But I just feel like the best friend has to be this loose cannon who just speaks the truth. In many way Lily serves as the audience’s perspective. You know when you’re watching a movie or TV show and someone is doing something so stupid you just scream at the TV. Yea, well that’s Lily. She states what should appear as the obvious to the others actors in the story.

meet ian

Ian: Nick Wechsler

Ian is a sweet, calm guy. The voice of reason. Although he too has been involved in these high-stake illegal activities, his self-awareness is much further along than Ricky’s. He knows how to separate himself from his corruption leader of a boss, and knows that his actions were a product of being coerced and trained for years. He also has had a bit more distance than Ricky, as Ricky was made a leader in the organization and felt the brunt of things toward the end, Ian was more of fixer of things, the driver, a tying up loose ends guy. Ian was the one who has been by Ricky’s side, the one who would sacrifice for the wellbeing of everyone. He’s heroic. But it’s a quiet heroism. You don’t realize how self-less he is right off the bat. He’s also got his own charm. His flirtation isn’t as blunt as Ricky’s when it comes to the ladies. He’s a quiet compliment-er, he observes Lily and her nature. He uses what he learns to draw her in and to connect with her. He genuinely speaks his mind and although he goes along with Lily’s sassy flirtation he is completely obvious about his intention to fall in love with her.

-The exclusion of voiceover, the implementation of inner thoughts-

This wasn’t consistent throughout the story. It started off with Maggie’s inner thoughts because she was dealing with a lot on her own, so we had to hear her thoughts. Once Lily was introduced those thoughts were reflected in the dialogue between those two characters as we experienced her pain through the things she confided in her friend.

-The Evolution of relationships-

Friendship-

“Laggie”

lily and maggie bffs

It’s evident that Lily and Maggie have been friends their whole lives. Lily is Maggie’s rock. She is the one to look out for her. Let’s face it she has no filter and will test anyone who tries to cause Maggie any pain.

“Rian”

ricky and ian bffs

Throughout the story we see Ricky deal with the consequences of his actions. We see him deal with having to suffer through causing Maggie so much pain. Ian is someone who is brought in to remain the calm, cool, collected person, he’s cool under pressure. He serves as the voice of reason and as Ricky’s eyes, when he can’t be there for Maggie. The one who is Ricky’s right hand man, and will sacrifice to help him in anyway. They have been partners forever, but their friendship is their first priority. They have each other’s backs, always.

Romantic-

“Illy”

ian and lily kiss

Ian passed Lily’s bluster…

When Lily and Ian meet it’s kind of a comedic moment. Rare for this series, but it serves as a breath of fresh air. We see Lily’s sassy nature at its best, and we see that even the most stoic of men can be instantly distracted by a beautiful and alluring woman. Lily is the way she is due to a recent heartbreak. Ian takes his time to court her, proving to her that he’s worth it. Lily’s calm and collected not to mention sassy nature is her defense mechanism. Ian gets to her, with his innocent yet somewhat obvious flirtations.

“Micky”

falling (2)

Took a while, but the love was always there

 

The main love story is set between Maggie and Ricky. Maggie lives a plain life, a routine life. A life of rules. Ricky follows his own set of rules. When their worlds collide, opposites attract and they find something in each other that compliments them as individuals. Things they have been looking for all along. Ricky instills adventure and confidence in Maggie’s life, showing her how amazing she is while trying to keep a light hearted sexy tone to their conversations. He’s definitely got a bit of a problem with telling her what to do, because he’s so afraid to lose her. His overprotective nature does cost him at times. While, Maggie instills belief, love and stability in Ricky’s life. Bringing a sense of realism to life, showing him that his criminal past isn’t what defines him. Ricky and Maggie have a back and forth that is evident. There is always a high level of tension, because they are always drawn to each other even though they both experience their reservations about being together. Regardless the love is always there.

-What I’ve learned about my writing, and need to work on for my next series and future projects-

TIPS:

*Write the series (or at least the bulk of it) in advance before posting.

Posting as I go makes it hard for me to stay motivated at times and makes it hard to remember where I left off. Which can cause continuity issues and timeline confusions.

*Keep note of the timeline and realize that not everyone can see it as clearly as you can.

This story has taken place over the course or nearly 1 ½-2 years. In real time we see about a year of it. But Maggie and Ricky have had an ongoing relationship for nearly 2 years. They were together for about 6 months before she found out about his job. 6 months he was able to hide and act like a normal boyfriend, but on the sly. Lily was the only one who truly knew they were an actual couple. To the outside world they seemed friendly. When Maggie finds out about Ricky’s job she pulls away. As Ricky begins to fight for her-coming full force to win her back. Maggie thinks she’s pregnant and worries Ricky’s lifestyle will cause her and her child pain. Their relationship moves quickly, as Ricky had revealed they said their “I love you’s” a week after dating. The separation/reuniting period is on and off for a while, and then after Ricky’s arrest, we jump 6 months ahead which allude to the growth these characters have made. In that time Ian and Lily have started their own romance and seem to be smitten with each other. Ricky spent his time getting well, and Maggie spent her time being in her own skin. Although the time apart was painful for both of them, they made it back to each other in the end, better than they were before, with a promising future ahead of them.

*Learn how to implement backstory better.

I feel like the little facts like Maggie’s a school teacher and Lily suffered a bad relationship could have been better thought out and more implemented throughout the story’s entirety. I need to be careful of that next time.

*Describe location, outfits, appearance more thoroughly, paint a picture for the audience. Where are they, what does it look like? Just because I see it, doesn’t mean you do.

*Learn to sus out the basis of the story before I post.

This can be hard because I often don’t know where the story will go. I may have a vague idea, but then as I’m writing the direction can change in an instant.

*Be more consistent and stick to a solid posting schedule.

I usually post on Mondays and Thursdays every week. For a while this series was all I featured on my blog, and then I kind of felt like I needed to regroup and give other categories on my blog some love. But then the series kind of took a really long break and it was hard to get back into, I just kept putting it off.

*Do research BEFORE you post.

With the crime/legal issues/mob story lines there are certain clauses and lingo and statures that go with that type of plotline. I feel like I didn’t know much about what the CIA does and that caused a problem as I wrote Ricky’s character. I would research as I went which I think that caused some inconsistencies and some weirdness. I did my best, hopefully it came across accurately enough.

*Don’t be afraid of sexual content and more explicit language. And don’t apologize.

I think this is a big one for me to learn. I find myself putting warnings and disclaimers before any chapters that contain more adult matters. Sex is a part of relationships and loving someone, and telling a love story. Cursing is part of heated conversation and gives a line a more dignified delivery. In this series, I definitely explored a more adult style of writing. I usually edit myself when it comes to love scenes, because I feel like it may be perceived as slutty or trashy, and I’m still trying to learn how to write an effective love scene. But I think with this series I’m breaking out of my shell slowly. I am 24, so I mean come on now, the things on TV and in the theaters now, would make my Maggie and Ricky measly shower sex scene seem like a Disney Channel movie.

*Write more like a script, then a novel.

This is something that I’ve noticed. I want the series to be read like a movie, and yet I’m writing and reading it like a short story. Formatting definitely needs work.

*Step up your editing images game, and use the slideslow option more often.

I don’t have image editing software on my computer. I actually found a way to edit images through Microsoft, but some edits come out SO BAD. Lol. Some come out pretty good. I’ve definitely gotten better since the Mysterious Attraction days, but I can only imagine the images I could create if I actually had Photoshop! Sometimes I’ll edit an image and it’ll come out pretty good and I will just get so excited. Seeing my characters come together like that makes it almost seem real. Oh just let me live. Let me dream! 😉 WordPress just added the slideshow option (or I just realized they had one) and it makes things so much neater, you can add captions and watch the story unfold like a mini movie. I love it!

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So there you have it guys, as this post goes up, we say Good Bye to this series, and plan for the next one. I’m excited! Thank you for reading, and congrats if you had the patience to stay tuned until the end! 😉

 

Love conflicted says good bye finished

Catch up on Love Conflicted HERE

*I do not take credit for any images used in my edits or otherwise.*

-<3-